Non-no Feb 2013: Q & A with Arashi! 2008 --> 2012! [2/2]

[barbosa2007.livejournal.com]

I haven't translated an interview that made me want to smack the guys while laughing at their antics. Not for a long while, anyway. I'd love to hear your thoughts on the things they brought up, particularly their views on women. *cackles* I couldn't refrain from making wisecracks on some of their comments, please forgive me.

In 2008…

Question: What is the one thing which you just can’t get about women?

Ohno: The view that “We need to be together all the time”. For people like us who need time to ourselves, it might be impossible.

Jun: How they’re able to totally forget once they’ve bid farewell or turned their backs on something. I am incapable of comprehending their ability to be so rational!

[T/N: Methinks that Jun and Ohno are dating very different women.]

Aiba: Women are a complete mystery~! I don’t get what causes them to go into a bad mood, stuff like that. (bitter smile)

Sho: How they become increasingly emotional during an argument. It makes me think, “Let’s talk over this logically.”

Nino: When they suddenly become unenthused, and refuse to tell me why even when I ask. It boggles the mind. 

In 2012…

Nino: I still don’t get it to this very day.

Sho: I get what you mean! My answer to close to Aiba-kun’s too.

Nino: It’s true. They get mad all of a sudden, change their minds all of a sudden, change conversation topics all of a sudden; I can’t understand why. I end up thinking, “Why are you bringing this up at this point in time!?”
Sho: Furthermore, there are some instances where there’s no sign of returning to the original topic. What on earth should we do!?
Nino: I’m sure this will remain an eternal mystery. Hmmm? Ohno-san’s direction is different from ours!
Sho: Isn’t this a roundabout appeal to his popularity? (laughs)
Nino: What a dodgy guy!

Jun: Although there’s a possibility that she might leave you alone for too long. (laughs)

In 2008…

Question: What is your “all-out present” that you’d like to give to a precious someone?

Ohno: An artwork which I made myself. Um hmm, I sure said something good! (laughs)

Jun: Lingerie, or the accessory called “Shackles”.

[T/N: Doumyouji-Jun is trying to say that he’ll make sure the girl is bound to him. Erm, figuratively. Minds out of the gutter, girls.]

Aiba: That’s tough! If you know of something good please tell me!

Sho: I’d make a mental note of what she said she wanted.

Nino: I’m not good at coming up with surprises, so I’d directly ask her what she wants.

In 2012…
Sho: Satoshi-kun, perhaps you’re reveling in your accomplishment!?
Ohno: Now that I think about it, I might not give her something which I made after all. If she didn’t react to the artwork, I’d hate it. (laughs)
Sho: Aiba-kun is stylish, so if he gave her an accessory or an article of clothing she would probably be happy. Nino and I are somewhat similar. But I like [planning] surprises, so I’m the type that would spend time researching.

Nino: And, the coolest answer of them all would be J’s!

Jun: That wasn’t cool at all. (laughs) It was a joke, a joke! 
Nino: We’d love to hear the 2012 version though.
Jun: … [I’d give her] the watch called “Freedom”, I guess. (laughs)
Nino: OOH! Once again, we have another famous quip!

In 2008…

Question: What’s a female gesture or spoken phrase that will (1) pull at your heartstrings (2) cause a great deal of disillusionment?

Ohno: For (1), it’s the image of her when she’s chagrined. Isn’t it cute? (laughs) For (2), it’s Gyaru talk.

Jun: I’m weak against the image of a girl pulling her hair together. Even if she has faults, as long as she’s willing to change them after being told, it’s okay.

Aiba: Actually, I have a fetish for scents and hands. (embarrassed) For (2), it would be unkind words, I guess.

Sho: It’s cute when she has a blush on her cheeks. I’m not good at dealing with girls who practise too much skinship. 
Nino: For (1), it would be when she’s clearing her throat. For (2), there isn’t anything. That’s probably because I was brought up in an environment filled with women.

In 2012…
Jun: That’s the first time I’m hearing that Aiba-san has a fetish for scents and hands. 
Aiba: I could say that it has relatively remained the same.
Nino: Hmm? Is Ohno-san alright with the image of a girl when she’s chagrined? What on earth is that!? I don’t get it at all!
Ohno: I don’t get your throat-clearing either. Try it for a bit.
Nino: (clears his throat violently) AHEM!
Ohno: … (serious faced) So that means we don’t get each other at all.

In 2008…

Question: Once and for all, what is love to you?

Ohno: “Something which connects to marriage”. That would be the ideal, I think.

Jun: “A thrill and a peace of mind”. It’s something which is polarized, but both extremities are equally important!

Aiba: “The ultimate spice”. That’s because if I’m in love, I could give of my best every day.

Sho: Hmm, I would say “color”, I guess. It’s not something which is essential, but it’s important. 

Nino: “Something which I can enjoy by myself”. Since I like unrequited love. (laughs)

In 2012…
Ohno: I still that’s the case for me. I accept Matsujun and Sho-chan’s views too. There was a period of time where my opinion was close to Aiba-chan’s.
Aiba: Everybody said something good, eh? Nino’s comment was kinda weird though. (laughs)
Ohno: I can relate to that too. 
Aiba: Do you like unrequited love too!?
Ohno: Yeah. I mean, it makes you want to chase after her, right? (grins)

In 2008…

Question: How would you make a love confession to your destined partner?

Ohno: I’d say, “I love you, I love you, I love YOOOOOOU!” in a direct showdown.

[T/N: And we have this line materialized in Ohno’s latest solo, Two. This man is so maddening, I swear.]

Jun: If I feel that it’s fate, words aren’t needed at all. Don’t you think? (laughs)

Aiba: A direct, “I love you”. Although waiting for her reply would be pure torture. (bitter smile)

Sho: “I love you.” In the event that I freeze up, it’d be futile if I’m dumped!

Nino: I don’t really like lighthearted confessions, so something like, “We’ll be together when we die”… (laughs)

In 2012…
Aiba: Matsujun, so cool~
Jun: I… What was wrong with me back then? (laughs)
Sho: Weren’t you in the Hanadan Doumyouji mode?

Ohno: Nino’s answer was crazy too.

Nino: If you feel that it’s fate, then you would expect this level of confession, right? Ohno-san, how would you say your confession? And it’s just as well that you’re on a stage right now. [T/N: refer to the photo shoot location.] Act it out for us! (broad grin)


scans: satopi@WB

Translator's rant comments: I was alternating between rolling my eyes and cackling while translating this interview. How many of you agree with the guys' views on women? In all seriousness, I hope these guys will settle for strong-minded women who will challenge them, whilst still being accepting of their flaws. Going for the all submissive girl who agrees with their every view will be a total cop-out. And yes, Nino is being a determined troll in this interview. Do NOT let this man fool you, girls!